Book Review: All We Could Still Have

Title: All We Could Still Have
Author: Diane Barnes
Genre: Women’s Fiction
Book Length: 281 pages (print)
Format Read: eBook
Year Published: November 7, 2023

Date Started: June 30, 2024
Date finished: July 3, 2024

It took me a while to get hooked into this book. I attempted it a couple of times before but just never was able to get into it. I’m glad I did because it was an intense read that had me thinking about some serious matters.

The story is about a couple: Nikki and Kyle. They apparently are happily married and have been trying for a baby. After the third try, Kyle decides that maybe having a baby isn’t for them and he’s okay with it. Nikki, on the other hand, is adamant about having a family. She can’t see her life without a baby and she’s desperate to make it happen. Not only does she not want to adopt, she wants a child with her and Kyle’s bloodline. Money is tight and one more round of IVF just isn’t possible, but Nikki refuses to accept that. She tells Kyle what he wants to hear, that she too will accept that they are done trying. However, she ends up secretly taking money out of her 401(k) to pay for a fourth IVF and told him it was bonus money from work. Kyle accidentally finds out what she had done while trying to surprise her with their new outlook on life. She was willing to sacrifice their retirement money on a baby, but not only that, he lost his trust in her for lying to him. That tore him apart and he decides to stay away from her until they could figure out how to go forward either as a couple or separate people.

Hurt from the realization of what she’d done, Nikki tries to talk to Kyle, but he won’t have it. He’s moved on. Eventually, she realizes that being together was more important than a baby and reaches out to Kyle again to tell him about her decision. Things start to look up, until Kyle reveals that he’d slept with a woman while they were separated. Not only that, but the women is pregnant with his child. The woman isn’t ready to be a mother and wants to give up the baby for adoption. Kyle thinks Nikki could raise this baby as her own since she can’t get pregnant. Nikki is upset and refuses to forgive him, but she also loves him. She ends up making a decision that could benefit them both.

This was a roller coaster of a story, and I enjoyed it. The topic of IVF is always sensitive and emotional, and this story not only brought out the struggles a woman goes through in trying to conceive, but there’s also the added twist of “what if” something else happened. I can see how Kyle was ready to move on. It was an emotional strain on both of them, individually and as a couple. I found Nikki’s story to be realistic in how she dealt with the struggles of having to go through IVF. She got to the point of just wanting something so bad that she’d do anything for it. I also understood Kyle. I think after losing trust in someone and being sure that things would never go back to what it was, I could see how he slept with the other woman.

Who should read this book: Anyone who enjoys women’s fiction having to do with the struggles within a relationship when it comes to starting a family.