Category: Family

Events and Gatherings

March 18, 2023

WP Question: What makes you most anxious?

Events and gatherings make me anxious. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going places and trying new things and revisiting old places, etc., but when it comes to scheduled events, I get super anxious, especially in places like the image above. That photo was taken in 2018 during oldest daughter’s national competition at the ESPN center in Disney World. It was a lot of fun being there, supporting her and the team, but it gave me a ton of anxiety just keeping up with the times they would perform (so I won’t miss them) and remembering the team’s schedule afterwards like pick up time, and dinner time, etc.

In general, anytime I have to plan an event, including things like making reservations, I get extremely nervous. I was always like this, even during undergrad and graduate school when presenting, and during the years I worked as a student finance advisor when I had to educate new students on financial aid. Years ago when my sister and I and two cousins created a Hmong dance group and performed at the Dragon Boat Festival and all over the city, I was super nervous. One time the camera man from the local news had the camera on my sister and I and asked me some questions but I just couldn’t speak up. I think my sister ended up doing the talking.

Strangely, I used to teach Catechism and I never got anxious. I believe I taught for about 10 years and enjoyed every moment of it. Maybe teaching isn’t so much an event or gathering. I’m not sure. I just know if I have to plan anything or attend a planned gathering, yeah I get super quiet and just want to hide.

Life Update and Book Review: These Violent Nights

March 13, 2023

The book review is below this life update. You can skip and go directly to the review because it could be a bit depressing.

I’m currently playing catch up on my book reviews from the last year and before. There was a period in there when I was trying really hard to blog but my father had passed away in 2020 and thinking that I could handle it, I tried to keep going like everything was okay. But everything wasn’t okay. I just blocked all my emotions. I knew it was all going to catch up to me, I just didn’t know when and how.

In August 2020, my dad died unexpectedly from a brain hemorrhage. When he was in the ER with my youngest sister and wanted to see me (and one of my other sister–I have 3 sisters–he wanted to see all his 7 children, but at the time, only three of us were available) really badly, we sort of just told him that we’d see him later because they were running tests and stuff on him, but then it turned out, due to COVID, only one family member could be with him for the day. We also didn’t think much of it. Dad had gone to the ER before and it was always something easily taken care of. While driving back to our mom’s house, we chatted with Dad on video message. He was all hooked up but looked happy. He smiled at us and tried to talk. He was very happy to see us on video.

Later the same day, the doctor said they needed to perform an operation on his brain to relieve it from the hemorrhage but they had to send him to a different hospital where they specialized in the procedure. The next day he arrived at the other hospital and they performed the surgery. Our whole family was there including all our spouses and some cousins.

After the surgery, we were told that Dad was not going to wake up and that they’d keep him hooked up until we said our good-byes.

Three years later and I still miss him. I still dream of him (like this morning) and wake up thinking he’s still here. When he was alive, he’d often call me just to ask me how I’m doing, how my kids are doing, and how my husband’s doing. If I had missed his calls, he’d leave a message. I know it’s weird but I’ve kept all his voice mails. I don’t listen to them very often (just once since his passing).

Anyway, I hope I don’t weird anyone out. There was a moment I thought I should delete the messages, but I just can’t find myself to do it. I think just knowing I have a part of him still near me is comforting. I rarely go to the cemetery to visit his grave site. Having his messages on my phone means more. It reminds me of how he cared about my well-being.

For the last couple of years, I blamed myself. I kept telling myself I should have gone and seen him inside the ER. I should have found a way to switch places with my sister to see him. I was angry at the doctors and I was angry at myself. It was only after hearing on the news that another man had died from the same brain hemorrhage that I forgave the doctors and realized they did all they could. I don’t hold grudges so you can see how much weight that was to hold a grudge on them for at least a year.

I’m going to stop there. I just thought I should let this out because sometimes I think people see me as a robot because I don’t tend to share my feelings or emotions very much. And for the most part, I don’t get emotional really. It sometimes makes situations very uncomfortable.

Title: These Violent Nights
Author: Rebecca Crunden
Genre: Fantasy romance; Dark fantasy
Year Published: March 31, 2021

Date Started: September 27, 2021
Date finished: June 1, 2022

This is a dark fantasy that follows two friends through a dystopian world where an alien race, the Suriias, made their way to earth via a portal and destroyed most of humanity. The remaining humans were either turned into slaves or killed. The human world was completely taken over by this race and in order to survive the humans must remain hidden or else their lives would be completely controlled by the Suriias.

The story is split into three parts. The first part focuses on the two human friends, Thorn and Thistle. The second part tells the story of a human named Nik and Lucien (the Suriias in the first part). There is a love story between the two men. Their relationship grows slowly and eventually and ultimately becomes a full-blown relationship. The third part ties both of these stories together.

This was a great story. I really enjoyed it. The magic in this story was excellent. I liked that they had to hide their magic so most of the story was about the relationships between the characters. The world is very gloomy and creates a dangerous place to be. The backstories are done exceptionally well describing the aliens path to earth and the destruction of earth.  

Who should read this book: If you’re into fantasy mixed with dark future worlds or dystopian, this one is excellent.

Cozumel

November 8, 2022

Our last stop on the cruise was Cozumel. We sat by the beach, was served lunch, and relaxed. It was a nice end to our cruise. The water wasn’t as clear as we had expected, but we were still able to go in and swim.

This is the view of the ship docking. The lamps were still on because it was still pretty early in the morning. I wanted to see the sunrise and watch the docking, so while husband was still sleeping, I got up and made my way to the top floor. I realized I could only either watch the sunrise or the docking because the sunrise was on one side and the docking was on the other. I decided to watch the docking.

Once we got off the ship, we took a short bus ride to the beach resort and found a nice spot right by the water. In the photo, husband and I were in the water taking a photo of where we sat. I believe the third or fourth umbrella in the front there (right to left) was ours.

Here’s the view directly in front of where we sat. That’s an inflatable water slide. I believe you have to get on a jet ski to get over to it. We didn’t bother with that. It was nice relaxing by the water and that’s all we really wanted.

We had a great time on this cruise. The cruise members were super friendly and the food was pretty good. The best part, of course, was just getting away from the every day and relaxing.

One thing I always enjoy about cruising is how beautiful the cruise ships are. When we arrived at the Cozumel port, two Carnival ships also arrived. Husband and I were having breakfast when we saw the two ships.

We ate quickly and went to the top floor because I knew they were going to have to “spin” and I wanted to capture it. The first boat pulled in bow first but the second one spun around.

This was probably the most exciting part of our vacation for me…lol.

We’d love to go on another cruise next year. We don’t have anything set in stone yet but we’d really love to go again.

Costa Maya

October 25, 2022

Our second day on the cruise, we arrived in Costa Maya. We took the tour to see the Mayan Ruins. It was a one hour bus ride to the location and then about an hour walking around the ruins and listening to our tour guide.

We had a pretty large group of people on our tour but there were other tour groups there as well. The people in the photo were all from our group. Behind me was another tour group waiting for their turn.
Our tour guide said areas like this with overgrown trees on top of rocks were Mayan pyramids that have not been excavated but will be.

It was extremely humid on the tour. We were told that it was rain season and that it had just rained and that it was going to rain again. The roads were dry so it was hard to tell but there were moments when rain misted.

I learned so much about the Mayan people on this tour. Our tour guide was Mayan and it was interesting when he spoke Mayan to us. It sounded like he was speaking Chinese. He said the Mayans migrated from China and that’s why their language was very similar.

Costa Maya was enjoyable, aside from the humidity.

Port of Galveston

October 21, 2022

The cruise we took in late July was out of Port of Galveston in Galveston, TX. We stayed at the Harbor House Hotel which was walking distance to the cruise check-in building. We were at the hotel for one night and had time to eat at two restaurants, watch an oil tanker come through the waterway, and watch the sunset with the cutest tugboat in the view.

View from our hotel room. We ate lunch at the restaurant in the building behind the bus.

Our room in the hotel.

Front of the hotel.
Walking along the port.
The back of the hotel.
The view during dinner at a restaurant that was walking distance from the hotel.

Watched an oil tanker as it came through and docked.

Sunset. This little tug boat looked much bigger in person.

Embarking the Royal Caribbean Grandeur of the Seas.

At our muster station. We were required to simply go to our station before the ship left the dock. Someone was there to scan our card and then we were done. We watched the rest of the drill information on our phones. It was very simple and quick compared to pre-COVID (on a different cruise line).

The main pool area.

Main pool area with the movie screen in view. During cruising out at sea, they played “Dune” and “King Richard.”

Top deck.

Our cabin.

Cabin bathroom.

Leaving port.

Going toward Costa Maya, Mexico. We were out at sea for one full day before arrival. You can see all the oil tankers waiting to come into port. We counted over 20 tankers. Most of them were not in view.

More photos to come…

May’s Playlist 2022 and Ramblings

June 2, 2022

Last weekend, went to grab donuts and coffee and couldn’t resist taking a photo of the clouds. Aren’t they something? If you’re curious as to why the road looks rough and uneven, it’s because they are repaving it. May usually feels like a forever month because of that extra day, but it pretty much flew by this year. I guess I should accept that as I/we get older, time starts to feel as though it’s moving faster. I remember wishing for the time to pass quickly. Now, I’m always aware that I only have so much time in a day to get things done, and there’s never enough time.

I was so busy with writing and trying to get my hands at doing more crafting that I didn’t get a chance to listen to anything different other than my default playlist of Enigma and writing music. Husband and I did go see the movie, Top Gun: Maverick and we both enjoyed it. The soundtrack was nostalgic and excellent. Afterward, I told him that returning to civilian life felt a bit slow and boring, but that I enjoyed it. The speed of those jets was a serious adrenaline rush and I don’t think that kind of life would ever be for me. It’s very different for sure, but you know, maybe it’s just the age thing.

Anyway, the one song I did listen to a few times was Meet Me Halfway but Kenny Loggins. He’s also the singer of the song Danger Zone, which was played in the 1986 Top Gun movie as well as the new movie release. Meet Me Halfway was a song played in the 1987 movie called Over the Top, which I haven’t seen yet.

My daughter is on summer break now. She finished 9th grade and will be starting 10th grade come fall. She’ll be taking classes for her driver’s permit this summer. Once she passes, she’ll be able to drive with me or her dad in the car with her. Then come her 16th birthday next year and she’ll be able to test for her driver’s license. Strangely, she doesn’t want to drive.

Hope you all enjoy your summer.

February 2022 Playlist

February 28, 2022

The photo was taken of my oldest daughter ten years ago. Can you believe that? She’s going to be 20 in a few days here.

February has been a busy month with trying to decide which method of bullet journaling (bujo) to go with. I’ve been trying to get down from about four notebooks to just two. I really enjoy making my own using dotted line notebooks, so I think I’m going to continue doing that, and doing more of it.

These were the main songs I listened to while bujo-ing.

“A Girl Like You” by Edwyn Collins. This song came out in 1994 and I remember listening to it during my college days. I think I heard it on “Lucifer” and it brought back memories.

“To Build a Home,” by The Cinematic Orchestra. First heard this song while watching “So You Think You Can Dance,” some time ago. The lyrics are a bit sad but beautiful, nonetheless.

“Lost Without You,” by Jaci Valesquez. Heard this song sometimes in the later 90’s early 2k’s and had it on repeat for awhile.

Steamboat Springs Weekend Trip

November 18, 2021

Last weekend, our oldest daughter was celebrating her two-year anniversary with her boyfriend in Steamboat Springs and we needed to get some Christmas photos for the year so we decided to join them up there. They had gone up before we did and stayed in a B&B. We stayed at a La Quinta about five minutes from them.

The drive to Steamboat was about four hours. There was a bit of snow as we approached the Eisenhower Tunnel.

Down the other side of the tunnel is steep and curvy. I’ve been down this road many times but each time, I’m always so nervous.

When we got closer to Steamboat, it snowed.

A few minutes before reaching Steamboat, the snow stopped and disappeared.

Where we stayed.

The view from the back window of our hotel room.

We didn’t have time to do too many things. Our one full day there, we had breakfast with our daughter and her boyfriend, and took photos. Then, they went their way, and we went ours. Husband, our youngest daughter, and I went to a hot springs which husband and I loved, but daughter didn’t so much. The sulfur was too strong for her. The sulfur started to burn my eyes eventually so we left. We had lunch and then went to watch Eternals at a really small theater (it’s really small compared to the AMC near our home, but not nearly as small as the one in Craig when I went with our daughters some years ago). Daughter and I liked Eternals. Husband thought it was too long.

It was a nice little getaway to a small ski town. Everyone was friendly and the view was beautiful and peaceful.

Chasing the Northern Lights

November 9, 2021

The day before Halloween, husband, our youngest, and I went on a road trip to Wyoming to see if we could get a good view of the Northern Lights. From what we learned, the massive solar flare would glow far enough to reach parts of Colorado. We thought we’d go further north for a better chance at seeing it.

It was a four hour drive, which wasn’t bad. The main road was straight and flat, which made the trip easy. A few years ago, it took us at least five hours to get to Ouray, Colorado, but we went through twisty roads and mountains which made the ride longer. Husband and I have been to Wyoming before. We went to Jackson Hole in Teton National Park to see Dr. Wayne Dyer at a speaking event. That was so long ago, and we didn’t stay very long either. It was also on the west side of Wyoming. This time we went straight north.

We stayed at a Holiday Inn in Casper where our daughter did homework while husband and I watched some T.V., and stepped out a few times to see if we could see the northern lights.

Unfortunately, we were not able to see the Northern Lights. We checked between 8pm and 10:30pm with no luck. It was just way too cloudy.

The next morning, we headed home. The car was slightly iced over. It was pretty cold. The roads were wet but not icy, although smaller roads might have been icy. It snowed part way while we were on the road.

The view above was in front of the hotel. There was nothing in Casper. I’m not sure if it’s all farm land, but there was a lot of empty land for miles and miles.

Even though we didn’t get to see the Northern Lights, this short road trip was well-needed. For some reason, I felt as though I could breathe better in Wyoming. I was also extremely relaxed. We stopped in Cheyenne on our way home for lunch and I fell in love with that city. I’d visit it again and stay a little longer. It’s not quite a small town. It’s a city, but a tiny cute one.